I don’t know if things are any different these days, but when I used to go to Dobbo’s farm and we had to drive the tractor and deliver hay to the cows the pedals seemed to be such an elaborate arrangement. It was like you had to be an orchestra conductor spliced together with a [...]

All I wanted was chocolate and cigarettes, that’s all. The plane journey that morning saw me spewing volcanic tufts of anger in every direction because some bastard ripped me off at the airport… now, settled in this shit hole called Agra I just wanted Chocolate and cigarettes- some notion of false comfort. Out the front [...]

An Advert in the paper, I call the Warnambool Standard and the Camperdown Chronicle and order a smudgy box announcing the Garage Sale from 10 a.m. Saturday. At 8 a.m the committed are there, the soldiers of fortune hoping to find an elusive piece or broach , the value of which may be misunderstood. Those [...]

If I remember rightly this was something I learned about in 3rd form Mathematics, all those funny squiggles and lines and arcs of cosines and tangents, wouldn’t know what one was mathematically any more, nor what waddling figures in the page would make it happen. All I know now is that our lives seem to [...]

Tucked up in bed, warm under a mountainous sea of blankets, soft and furry, a cup of coffee sitting on the bed-head, a lamp in the corner with frosted cream glass. Coughing  and fitting waiting for the unwelcome arrival of the cough medicine. It tastes artificial, fake, processed,like an alien drink. It tickles the back [...]

Cue Clint with fat cigar hanging out the side of mouth, cue, the poncho slung over shoulder and crazed Mexican gunmen firing away at him… he’s unstoppable, the poncho pulled back to reveal a Ned Kelly tin pot suit of armour, hands reaching down to his sides for the colt 45’s in the leather holsters. [...]

You know I’ve always been a fan of flying aircraft, jet fuel etc, so when the opportunity arose, to hang like an eagle in the heavens  I was there. For years I’d been driving around with my friends who were quite happy to jump off cliffs and mountain tops and knolls and crannies, I would [...]

Firewood and fiddle sticks, just trying to find those tiny ’starter’ things is hard work, yeah usually there’s some lumps of wood lying around, fat and squat, just let your hand slip down the leathery handle of an axe to  make it manageable, but it’s the kindling that’s the problem, those little twigs, and shades [...]

Almost every place has one – not that they’re used for their intended purpose any more. Grand old facades, festooned with sculptured weaves of a bygone era. The Melbourne Town Hall for example, still standing soilid and proud with its regulation clocktower mapping out the life of the city for the day. Sandstone parapets and [...]

You know how the saying goes – give ‘em enough and they’ll hang themselves. You know it – don’t you – when someone’s bullshitting? At first their conversation seems to have some sour moments and then it becomes obvious the whole thing is a crock and you start to challenge what they’re saying. It’s almost [...]