Flat, dead flat, an ECG dead flat line of green at eye level. It goes on forever, steamrollered, manicured, pruned and teased, just the faintest hint of a few lines at the other end. The ball is medium, heavy, a small cannonball ready to launch out of my arm, and like a cannonball it too has a trajectory, based on the ‘bias’ of the ball. One side heavier than the other- the bias – like a set of scales with too much weight on one side it will lean to the left or right on its journey toward the jack – The White ball the size of a snooker cue ball that needs to be approached by all of the other bowls.

Sometimes it’s too close to call, between sips of light beer from the 1950′s clubhouse a strategy forms – the other team have 4 balls in the zone , you have none- solution – do a blitzkrieg roll, a mighty fast one right down the middle if you can. Like a bolt on a single action Winchester my arm coils back then sling shots the brown globe with the yellow side down the runway. Have I judged the bias right? – Not so important at this speed I think – yes straight at the jack but then no it veers to the left in the last few metres- thankfully knocking a couple of the oppositions’ balls out of the way with a satisfying clacking sound. Now the score is 2-1. Better. Who thought that such a degree of competition could be invoked by such a simple game as rolling a ball along the grass – but it’s there the killer instinct, the desire to win, the well of pride we dip into to maintain our self esteem and position- I won’t back down.

For the rest of the afternoon we hang around near the barbecue out the back while Ben’s mum sizzles sausages and steaks, the smell of frying meat curls the air, and a snag sandwiched between two pieces of plasticy bread with sauce is the ‘Aussie’ main course at a BBQ, salty red tomato sauce,with the burned taste of the barbecue grill- lovely! Back for another round at the green lifting that ball now seems a bit harder several beers seem to have made it gain ounces as well as me! it almost seems as heavy as that spare tire I changed last week – that’s a fun job……