Paul J Penton – Songwriter

Crumpet- Daily Object Writing- Nov 29

What is it about a crumpet? It’s different to bread, spongy, pliant,not well defined. Biting into a piece of toast is like cracking glass, but a crumpet is like putting a trampoline in your mouth and letting loose a bouncing ball. I don’t indulge often, but when I do my preference is toasted, with butter and jam. There’s a weird contrast as the lower part – as flat as a surfboard – meets the curling wave of my tongue. But with a piece severed and bouncing in my mouth, my tongue engages in a conversation with the oozing butter and jam. It gets caught in the pock marks that crater the surface, freshly bubbled from a graze with the toaster. I chew and chew and it seems I’m getting nowhere, unless I’ve only had bad ones that is – does anybody do home made crumpets? How would you? Are these just a British delicacy? I think of OLD British sit-coms- Benny Hill- On the busses -where woman are referred to as ‘Crumpet’ does that still exist? I guess it relates back to tasting good- maybe.

When they’re cooking you gotta keep an eye on them, under the grill it’s a contest that requires constant diligence, though – all we really want is thoughtlessness in the morning with our breakfast. One plate of thoughtlessness please- to go would be great. But, of course thoughts and worries of the coming day start to unfold from the newspaper in your mind, they start to squeak, moving like a broken down car and they’re here already. It doesn’t have to be that way though- it might be excitement about things to come – depends on your situation- your perspective. So why not get the day running sweetly with a nice spongy crumpet? Perhaps douse it in maple syrup watch out don’t drip on fingers or they might be sticky-wicky for the rest of the day……