You know those side show rides like the ‘gravitron’ , where you start out flat and it spins and gets faster and turns on its side and you’re pinned against the wall spinning at multi miles per hour almost out of control, well that’s what jealousy’s like . It takes over, it pins you against the inside of your skin and tries to make you fly off into space, but it’s constrained by your mortal dermis. When you find out or ‘think’, you’ve found out something, it ’s as if you’ve stepped in a bull ant nest on the inside and these oversized ants come out and race all over your skin with their sharp nipping pincers, you are crawling on the inside. You want to itch that scratch but you can’t and if you did try to it would keep moving, it would be a slimy toad ,wet and dripping through your fingers a slithering snake that moves through every part of you, impelling you to some sort of action; a phone call later regretted, a fence jumped in desperation, but it’s not you acting, it’s the jealousy, the consuming lava flow of jealousy, that heats you up beyond the other side of anger.

When you ‘think’ you’ve found something’s going on, when you are whipped by the froth of suspicion. When you open the refrigerator door of your heart what do you discover?… week old rotting vegetables, black spores and curdled milk , oh jealousy thy taste is so wonderful! You can’t stop yourself though, you’re a steam train running to the next station with fires burning madly while the whistle permanently parps, looking for a solution and an answer an end to your ant frenzy frustration of not knowing, that just one piece of communication would solve – a yes or a no. It’s almost as if your body has been hijacked and put out for ransom, you bounce off walls from side to side, but, what if you’re wrong?